A couple of days ago I found myself pondering on things I’ve learned the hard way in the past few months. My brief introspection revealed these:
- You have to choose your own battles. You don’t have to be in every single one, and you don’t have to win every fight to prove a point, or to prove that you are right. Sometimes walking away is the bravest thing that you can do. It may in fact be the wisest move. You don’t have to fight every issue there is or be noisy or loud about many things. You just have to stand up for and defend the things that really matter to you. Fight battles that are worth every fiber in your body, every beat of your heart, and every neuron in your brain. You may not always win, but at the very least you’ve showed how much you cared.
- Learn to say No to most things so you can say YES to a few and give it your best. Success doesn’t have room for middle ground. It’s either in or out, yes or no, no “maybes’”or “yes-buts’”. This philosophy won’t be easy if you don’t know what you want, or you haven’t thought of what’s really important to you. Making a choice eventually boils down to what you value the most, and the priorities you have at a particular time. It would be an injustice to yourself and to the people involved to only give 50% of what you can and ought to give. So do your self including the people around you a favor. Say Yes only when you really mean it. Don’t stretch yourself too thin so you can give a 100% to your YESes and leave the “NO” avenues to people who can pick it up and do it better.
- Peoples’ opinion of you and how they treat you speaks of them, and not you. Let’s face it, hurt people, hurt people. When a person’s heart is filled with rage, insecurity, malice, arrogance, it’ll show in his manners and in his speech. Same would be true if a person’s heart is filled with peace, contentment, respect and humility (you definitely would want to hangout with this type :-)). All the words we speak, the thoughts we entertain, and all our ways are projections of the contents of our heart. It’s not about the other person. It’s about us. So the next time somebody treats you badly realize that the person may be in deep, dark, hurtful place. This doesn’t justify the act, but it’ll give you a sense of perspective and broader understanding of what’s taking place. Then, you can act accordingly guided by the wisdom this thought gives you.
I wanted to share these hoping it may give you light as you’re walking down your own path. You may liken it to a flower or a firewood you’d stumble upon on your journey— you can pick whatever inspires you or what you’d find useful enough to keep. Who knows, we might see each other round the next bend and get to swap pebbles, cookies and stuff. Until then, light your own path and enjoy the journey, after all, there’s only one.