The next day

“Here  you go.”

“What’s this?”

“A letter I wrote to myself. I want you to read it.”

Dear Me,

I’m sorry for shoving you into the closet.

I’m sorry for not liking you and loving you enough.

I was too focused on dressing up my ego that I forgot about you.

I know you don’t need me to show you off to the world, and I won’t even think about it.

But, I promise to be true to you and be a good friend.

Nothing can harm you.

And there’s nothing so impressive in the world that you don’t already have, or that you aren’t already.

You are God-made and God-loved. 

Nothing can be better than that.

Yours,

Now-i-know-better-Me

A moment later, she took my hand and said, “Come on, let’s enjoy this afternoon together.”

As we sat on the bench

“Why do I shy away from meeting new friends or avoid hanging out with them?”

She sat there a bit upset.

“Well, let’s see. “Sometimes, it’s all about expectations.” I began.

You expect to be somebody else other than yourself.

“This requires a lot of effort. It won’t sit right with your soul. The whole time, you’d be pretending, shoving your true self into the closet, and for what? Even if people end up liking “you,” they’d still be enjoying a “made-up” version of you.” 

“So, what should I do it instead?”

“Show up as you, the polite, respectful, unpretentious, unassuming you. Those are your genuine character traits. Don’t apologize for them or try to hide them away.”

Your expectation of who people are or how they’d be like.

“Our ego loves to gauge itself whether it’s higher or lower, greater or lesser, better or worse than others. Why? Because it likes to know where and how to position itself against others. Then, it either gets a sense of pride or feels so insecure.”  

“How should I manage that?”

“Receive people as they are, or, as they present themselves, without judgments, expectations, and your personal agendas.”

She pondered for a moment, looked at me, and smiled.

“I’ll come back tomorrow to see you.”

“I’ll be here.”