The Day I Decided To Let Go

Letting go is obviously one of the hardest things that we can do, but at times, stepping into that new kind of freedom is very much worth it.

sundaewrites

The year came like anything normal and in so many ways I have underestimated it. Certainly, you’ll never really know where life would take you. 

During the first few months, inspiration struck. It triggered me to make small decisions and subtle changes affecting very important aspects of my life.

Letting Go of Stuff

    It started with a few clothes, some old, some new, that I’ve never really worn for months. Like most, I’ve held on to those pieces of clothing because I’ve paid for them and I already own them. 

I realized later on that possessing or not possessing them didn’t really affect the quality of my life. Nor has it affected the level of my happiness in the long term. Maybe that’s why you and I call this and similar things as stuff because literally, they’re just that. Most things we can live without and some we can only need enough of. 

On the other hand though, our stuff can be a piece of gold to someone who really needs them. With that, I gave away clothes to friends, neighbors, relatives and some more things to charity.

I was able to sell some of the stuff too and more will be sold in the comings months. I remember meeting this buyer and our conversation went like this.

Buyer:  So how long have you had this?

Me: 6 months

Buyer: how many times did you use it?

Me: thrice

Buyer: It’s in superb condition and you’re selling it for half the price. Why did you buy it in the first place?

Me: Well, I thought I needed it and would do me good. Later on, I realized, it’s bulky and cumbersome. I can actually get rid of it and make do of what I already have.

Buyer: Well, this is a gem for me. Sorry, you had to sell it.

Me: Oh no, I’m glad I did! (“and I met you”! – bonus point that I felt he didn’t need to know – insert “grin”).


Letting Go of biases

    I think you would agree that we all have our biases when it comes to culture, people of a different race or sometimes people from our own race. I for one am guilty about this. In the past, my generalizations about people have hindered the possibility of me knowing them at a deeper level and understand how they see things. 

I’ve come to realize that it was a mistake and a loss on my part. I mean, some of them could have been my close friends. They could have contributed to my growth. Most could have been helpful mentors, teachers, coaches or perhaps role models. I remember a colleague of mine said to me one time. “It’s not you. We’re just not used to saying please and thank you as often as you do. We don’t even say please or thank you to people from our own country”.  Another shared, “We look like we’re fighting because we seem to be shouting at each other, but we’re not. This is just a normal conversation”.

When I decided to finally open myself to other cultures and other communities, I felt like my heart expanded and my understanding broadened. I began to see these people the way I see myself and my friends- just human beings with imperfections like we all have, and trying their very best in life as we all do.  

Letting Go of Who I thought I was

We are who we are. This belief also limited my success as a person. 

I always thought that I’m an introvert and therefore, don’t have the ability to connect with people and actually be energized in the process. I always thought, I could never write, just because I barely passed my first essay in college. My English teacher would always ask me to explain what I’m trying to say. That time I have a knack for tying two words together, not because they mean anything but because they just sounded good. Well, it’s hard when English is not your first language. These are just two of several beliefs which crafted my idea of Me. This same idea pushed me to stay in my comfort zone because venturing out, I assumed,  would lead me to failure.  

After years, a breakthrough came.  I decided I will no longer fear failure. So I started a journey of self-discovery and that meant trying new things and doing things that actually scared me or made me nervous and uneasy. I tell you, when I look at myself now, I like what I’m seeing. Frankly, I still make mistakes but I’m growing and continuously learning.

The good thing about letting go of who I thought I was is that every day I am embracing the opportunity to reinvent myself and expand my horizons. It opens a whole new door of possibilities of what I can still be, and the results usually astound me. What you can or cannot do, is indeed entirely up to you. Henry Ford puts it this way “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right”.

My friend, is there something in your life that you need to let go and why, or, why not?

Maybe, this is for you.

I took my car for maintenance today. Due to the pandemic, it has not even reached the required mileage.  But It’s been six months since my car’s visit to the shop, so whether we like it or not, here we are again. I wonder how good it will be to allow ourselves to go through some maintenance too, twice or four times a year.

Most of us have built a routine day in and day out. 

“Routine” is good. It gives us a sense of permanence, of stability. It’s something we can anchor ourselves to these days when normalcy’s been shaken up a bit. The way we’ve programmed our daily activities eliminated the unnecessary burden of having to make too many decisions. We cannot afford to lose our energy over things that can go automatic. We wake up the same time every day, have the same meal, take the same route, work on the same tasks, wind up the day the same way as we did last. Over time things get comfortable. We finally settled in. We’ve cemented what we would regard as, normal.

Personally, normalcy unsettles me. 

I’ve always been a misfit my entire life. It took years for me to accept that being eccentric is my default. I’ve wrestled and won over it on many occasions. I wanted to belong, to be like everybody else. It sure paid some rewards, but none of it lasted. I guess in our deep desire to be seen, to be known, and to be loved, oftentimes, we look for these things in the wrong places. Eventually, we realize that the divine fulfillment of these desires can only come from God. The earthly satisfaction on other hand should start from within. Now, I have zeroed in on that. From here going forward, I’m embracing my kind of normal.  

Sometimes you need to step back and take a second look at things.

When we run around all day, we will get many things done. We feel accomplished. We feel proud. We satisfy people, but do we “really” satisfy “us”? Fortunate are those who have found their purpose but for those of us who have not, at least not yet, we keep looking. 

What is it that we deeply ache for? 

What is that thing we want to do if money wasn’t an issue? 

If love, attention, or acceptance isn’t any more a void that needs to be filled? 

Will a disruption help bring this thing to the surface? 

Maybe, or perhaps, intentionally breaking the monotony of every day will help connect us to our very core. 

To awaken the giant within. 

To finally show the rarity of our self to the world. 

To let our true light shine. 

To embrace our “own hue”.

The journey to discovery doesn’t end.

Now I can allow curiosity to fuel my energy. I might be stepping into unfamiliar territories. I might feel scared again, feel uncomfortable, feel alone. But looking at similar seasons in my past, those experiences allowed me to discover and uncover both my strengths and my flaws. As they are laid out in the open, I get to recognize the beauty that I was made of, and the grace that I needed. I desire to come to a point where I begin to fully embrace what I see. To not be afraid of who I am nor be afraid to explore who I can become. The possibilities are endless. But not until I am willing to see where I am will I ever begin to entertain the idea of what else could be out there for me.  

It’s not for everyone.

If you have found peace where you are, remain there if you must.

However, if you share the same sentiments I have, by all means, explore and do it happily. 

I shall see you on the other side.

The Hike

As beginners, we attempted to hike 2600M up a mountain trail. Did we make it?

My friends and I made it halfway through. Good sense told us to head back down before nightfall. Was I disappointed? Not at all, but I sure have something to attempt again next time.

What this novel experience taught me:

Spontaneity

Be ready for sudden inspiration. Oftentimes the muse eludes you like butterflies you keep chasing across the fields. When it shows up, welcome it. Know that it’s not going to stay forever. 

A mentor of mine once said, when intuition presents itself, listen to it, or it will stop reaching out to you. I don’t mean being reckless by this. I believe if you are anchored to something good, your intuitions and inspirations are meant to lead you to something good too. Be it to surprise you or protect you. Any way it will help you land on higher ground.

Presence

I am in for the journey, not the destination. The story of our life unfolds between destinations, between a starting point and an endpoint. Much of the colors are there, good and bad, we get to soak in them equally. 

When I hear the words “You have arrived” I don’t really believe it. I believe we will always be moving, always arriving someplace until we’re not. So I choose to walk wherever the road leads, regardless of the season. It only ends when God says so. Even after that, who knows I might be treading down more beautiful paths. 

Value

Success by world standards meant finish lines, graduations, degrees, titles. Everybody celebrates that. But very few look at failed attempts, half-bakes, second takes, round twos, try again. 

I think the value of each completed task lies in how much one has given up to achieve it. I liken it to that poor widow in the Bible who gave two coins and Jesus said she gave more than anybody else did. Those two coins were all she had. 

The value of something you give lies in how much it cost you

So if we talk about love, how much did it cost you to give? 

Now, the Summit

I admire people who persevere. Most fulfilled people I know are the ones who endured difficulties for something they cared about. Be it family, a calling, a purpose, a feat, however, that person or thing meant to them. 

George Mallory made several failed attempts to climb Mount Everest, that he once was quoted to say, “That mountain cannot grow any bigger, but we can”. His body was reportedly found in May 1999, after 75 years. It was believed he reached the summit but had a fall accident climbing back down.

Some might say it was a waste but I think, to George Mallory, it was all worth it. The climb was important to him. While the world is still trying to figure what happened, he may be looking down saying “it doesn’t matter”. He gave everything he had to what he cared about the most.

I don’t want to end this on a sad note, so know that not all pursuits end in tragedy! Some end in joy. That said, we’re merely interpreters of the story.

So focus on writing your own and remember to ask yourself time and again “Do I believe in this”?

That, “one thing” you can die or live for, is not up to anyone’s choice, but yours.

SUNDAEWRITES

Passion – Truth

It’s easy to throw in the towel: 

  • When things get difficult,
  • When you think you’re not getting anywhere,
  • When you don’t get the support you need,
  • Or when people you hope to take notice of you, never do.

It’s easy to say, “You know, what, I’m done, it’s over”. Feelings of anger, doubt, and hopelessness set in. If you’re not careful, it will send you to a downward spiral until you hit a spot you’ve never desired to be in the first place.

Talk about passion for instance. I always thought passion never dies until mine did. 

I am passionate about 3 things. One I’ve outgrown like how I‘ve outgrown chocolates. The other two, I’m working on and off, so essentially, they’re barely breathing. The likelihood both will die is high if I don’t get my acts together. I guess I can’t call these passions after all.

On second thought, my definition of passion may not be correct, to begin with.

It’s not the music, the writing, or the speaking- – – all are but mediums to express my truth in different ways so it lands wherever it’s supposed to.

The truth is the main thing.  It’s the driver, the purpose, whatever you call it. It’s the glue that holds everything together and gives sense to why we do the things we do. 

Big truths are universal and they never die. Humanity shares the desire,

  • to love
  • to inspire
  • to serve
  • to help
  • to teach
  • to learn
  • to be happy
  • to live a meaningful life

Our passion is our Truth.

I wrestled with this idea for a long time because I thought that I was changing. But in fact, I was just shifting mediums to convey my truth. The moment I embraced it, I stopped questioning my passion. 

“I understood that whatever I do, I could never escape what I’m supposed to be fulfilling on planet earth. That purpose, that truth is going to show up everywhere I go. Resisting or rejecting it means death, a slow, painful, lonely death”.

SUNDAEWRITES

Looking back, I realize there was nothing wrong with the mediums I chose in the past. It was the right choice at that time. I guess as we evolve we become the persons we need to be in each season of our life. Sticking to the old us would have been ineffective.

Not every door we knock on is going to open for us. Not every business will work out. Not every project will succeed. Not every effort we exert pays off. It’s who we become that matters. It’s the strength that develops over time, the wisdom we accumulate through the seasons of life. We build muscles as we go along. 

The journey becomes something more than the destination. Life happens there- in the process, along the way. We don’t see it now but looking back, we can tie the pieces together.

While we are on this journey, please no matter how tempting it is, don’t stop. You can change your mind, your strategy, the course, the playbook, but don’t stop. The end will eventually come. But right now, as long as there’s still air in your lungs, breathe. 

Live. 

Love. 

Serve. 

Help. 

Inspire. 

Teach. 

Learn. 

Spread happiness.  

Create meaning out of your one, precious life.

The Day I Decided To Let Go

Letting go is obviously one of the hardest things that we can do, but at times, stepping into that new kind of freedom is very much worth it.

sundaewrites

The year came like anything normal and in so many ways I have underestimated it. Certainly, you’ll never really know where life would take you. 

During the first few months, inspiration struck. It triggered me to make small decisions and subtle changes affecting very important aspects of my life.

Letting Go of Stuff

    It started with a few clothes, some old, some new, that I’ve never really worn for months. Like most, I’ve held on to those pieces of clothing because I’ve paid for them and I already own them. 

I realized later on that possessing or not possessing them didn’t really affect the quality of my life. Nor has it affected the level of my happiness in the long term. Maybe that’s why you and I call this and similar things as stuff because literally, they’re just that. Most things we can live without and some we can only need enough of. 

On the other hand though, our stuff can be a piece of gold to someone who really needs them. With that, I gave away clothes to friends, neighbors, relatives and some more things to charity.

I was able to sell some of the stuff too and more will be sold in the comings months. I remember meeting this buyer and our conversation went like this.

Buyer:  So how long have you had this?

Me: 6 months

Buyer: how many times did you use it?

Me: thrice

Buyer: It’s in superb condition and you’re selling it for half the price. Why did you buy it in the first place?

Me: Well, I thought I needed it and would do me good. Later on, I realized, it’s bulky and cumbersome. I can actually get rid of it and make do of what I already have.

Buyer: Well, this is a gem for me. Sorry, you had to sell it.

Me: Oh no, I’m glad I did! (“and I met you”! – bonus point that I felt he didn’t need to know – insert “grin”).


Letting Go of biases

    I think you would agree that we all have our biases when it comes to culture, people of a different race or sometimes people from our own race. I for one am guilty about this. In the past, my generalizations about people have hindered the possibility of me knowing them at a deeper level and understand how they see things. 

I’ve come to realize that it was a mistake and a loss on my part. I mean, some of them could have been my close friends. They could have contributed to my growth. Most could have been helpful mentors, teachers, coaches or perhaps role models. I remember a colleague of mine said to me one time. “It’s not you. We’re just not used to saying please and thank you as often as you do. We don’t even say please or thank you to people from our own country”.  Another shared, “We look like we’re fighting because we seem to be shouting at each other, but we’re not. This is just a normal conversation”.

When I decided to finally open myself to other cultures and other communities, I felt like my heart expanded and my understanding broadened. I began to see these people the way I see myself and my friends- just human beings with imperfections like we all have, and trying their very best in life as we all do.  

Letting Go of Who I thought I was

We are who we are. This belief also limited my success as a person. 

I always thought that I’m an introvert and therefore, don’t have the ability to connect with people and actually be energized in the process. I always thought, I could never write, just because I barely passed my first essay in college. My English teacher would always ask me to explain what I’m trying to say. That time I have a knack for tying two words together, not because they mean anything but because they just sounded good. Well, it’s hard when English is not your first language. These are just two of several beliefs which crafted my idea of Me. This same idea pushed me to stay in my comfort zone because venturing out, I assumed,  would lead me to failure.  

After years, a breakthrough came.  I decided I will no longer fear failure. So I started a journey of self-discovery and that meant trying new things and doing things that actually scared me or made me nervous and uneasy. I tell you, when I look at myself now, I like what I’m seeing. Frankly, I still make mistakes but I’m growing and continuously learning.

The good thing about letting go of who I thought I was is that every day I am embracing the opportunity to reinvent myself and expand my horizons. It opens a whole new door of possibilities of what I can still be, and the results usually astound me. What you can or cannot do, is indeed entirely up to you. Henry Ford puts it this way “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right”.

My friend, is there something in your life that you need to let go and why, or, why not?