The End

Today marks the close of another project that I have started five months back. Would I call it a victory? Well, it didn’t pan out the way I envisioned but I should say it was a success. Along the way, I have learned a lot, expressed a lot, developed some technical know-how in areas otherwise I would have shrugged off and kept wondering how it worked. Once I got the hang of it, things just felt like clockwork.

What I learned from this experience.

Pursue the things you’re interested in, regardless of the outcome.

Of course, it’s good to have a goal in mind. That works for most people. But for me, I’ve never been so much into goals. Maybe that’s the reason why I don’t get to the same levels as the people I admire and adore. But I’m fine with that. I got myself into a place where I am more confident and content with who I’ve become, and how I’ve made an impact on someone else’s life.  

I believe in what we call “the process”. I trust it, and I focus on the “now” rather than on some not-so-distant tomorrow which may or may not come. 

What’s important to you right now may not be the same as what others care about at this stage in their life.

Every person we meet even those close to us has his or her own priority. Sometimes they can’t be bothered by the things we’re occupied with or worried about, and that’s okay. We don’t have the same starting point, our circumstances are different, and every person has the freedom to carve his own path rather than follow the herd. 

Sometimes you can take people with you only so far, and then you part ways, you pursue different things. Each of us is in pursuit of our own happiness and we should give that freedom to one another, even more, when we endeavor to create a sense of meaning into our very existence. I think beyond happiness, “meaning” is the utmost desire of our souls.

You may never arrive but what matters is you regard every road as precious.

Wherever we are at this point is necessary not so much to give us comfort but rather to build our character and know our worth, our purpose. The pages of a book are individual strings the when tied together reveal the entirety of a story. I know that sometimes we want to tear a page or two. We don’t like it. It’s burdensome, it’s full of hurts, fears, sadness, and feelings of defeat. When I’m faced with this, I try to imagine myself like I’m a piece of land that needs to crack open. A land that needs to be tilled and cultivated so seeds can grow and new life can spring up. It’s the same thing when our hearts break. The cracks allow God’s grace to flow through. Keeping this in mind allows me to welcome things as they come, whether it be failure or success, an end or a beginning, a hopeful morning or a gloomy afternoon. These things all have a purpose, and it can only unfold once I begin to recognize that. Walking through life with an open hand dissolves all tension in the body. Release your clutch, and you will know what I mean.

Trying is better than not having done anything.

Execution is better than planning.

Living something out is better than preaching about it.

Last thing I wanna say. 

Let go if you need to. What’s meant for you will surely find its way back. 

Let me leave you with this quote from Lewis Carroll:

“IN THE END… We only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.”

Don’t be scared.

Living, is a verb.

That Kind..

Have you helped someone and felt like it has not been appreciated at all? Maybe you gifted somebody with something you’ve saved up for a long time, but the gift wasn’t valued as much as you have hoped for.

Many times we feel frustrated when our gifts are taken for granted. At the same time, when someone takes advantage of us, we feel annoyed.

Let’s look at what usually motivates people to give.

Giving makes us feel better.

We give because we feel sorry for someone. 

We give because we are superheroes with superpowers (false)!

We have plenty of resources (so we think).

We like to help, like genuinely.

These reasons are not bad but notice the inherent limitations. Consider these.

Our should-be goal is to make the other person feel better, not that we feel better.

We should aim to empower those we help so they can stand up and fend for themselves-not train them to be beggars.

We’re not superheroes. We can’t be everything to everyone. 

Some things do run out. So it matters where we place those limited resources.

Asking someone “How can I help” makes our help more useful and effective. 

One classic example of the latter was when I had a chance encounter with a stranger.

Me: “Good morning”!

Guy: “Oh, hi!”

Me: “Do you have a change for 100 bucks”?  

Guy: “Sorry, no. But how much change do you need”?

Me: “Just 5 bucks for these copies”.

Guy: “ I got it. I’ll pay for you”.

Me: (stunned) “Wait! Really”?

Guy: “Yeah, don’t worry about it” (He said smiling).

Me: “Thank you!”  

At that time I can’t think of any way to pay him back so I just said, “God bless you!” The guy just smiled and walked away.

Driving back to work, I recalled all those occasions in the past when help came along at the perfect time and turned out to be exactly what I needed.

  1. A brother who advised me to put off an investment until I have enough money for it.
  2. A spiritual mentor who prayed for me every night for 12 weeks so I could finish a catholic program.
  3. An ex-boss who found me a head hunter who in turn helped me land a new job.
  4. A friend showed me options I could consider whenever I decide to come home for good.

When help or gift perfectly fits a need you get to appreciate it more, and when it empowers you, all the better.

Next time ask, “How can I help you best?”. Act on the ASK and equip this person to walk, without a crutch.

Subtract

Subtract anything that doesn’t add value to your life.

It could be temporary or permanent.

More is not always better.

You can only keep enough,

consume enough,

use enough,

do enough,

And every season in your life

demands something different 

You cannot hold on to anything earthbound.

To Start With

Define what value means to you.

is it family, time,

health, spirituality,

experience, growth,

or your contribution to the world?

Analogy

Imagine clearing the table you’re working in now.

Slowly, place everything on the floor.

Then whatever it is you need at this moment,

pick it up and use it.

You can discard everything else.

The Challenge

Look at your current responsibilities, 

commitments, possessions, 

consumptions, and yes connections.

What doesn’t add value to your life right now?

Discern and decide what you need to let go 

So you can make room for something that does.

Uprooting

Earlier today I listened to somebody talking about the idea of Uprooting.

It happens when you decide to pluck the bud off a seed you’ve planted, that it loses the chance to grow and blossom.

I was hit hard.

You see, I’m the kind of person who would have these brilliant, inspiring ideas, enroll people to embrace the same, start working on those, and then just not follow through.

Courses I’ve never finished.

Hobbies I’ve never picked up again.

Skills not really mastered.

Good rituals that have never lasted two months.

Relationships never cultivated.

I hope I am most people, but I could see a lot around me nailing it.

Why can’t I?

At this point in my life, I think I still haven’t decided who I want to be.

I’ve been drawn to that shiny object syndrome which I heard about a few months ago and never thought it could be real, at least to me.  I was wrong to say I had it all figured out.

Looking back, I’ve been chasing a lot of things. Even now I can say I am all over the place and I have to do something about it.

This writing is hopefully a start. I want to go back to the way I used to write— unfiltered, insightful, vulnerable.

You’re probably asking why I stopped or why I changed.

Simple.  I thought then I’d be better off if I was somebody else.

Somebody that people like.  Somebody who could write something people will rave about.

Yet that failed me too. 

No matter how I try to “buy” love, appreciation, admiration from other people, even if I get those, it would never be enough until I decide I am enough.

PIT STOP

Right this moment I am writing for me. If the state I’m in resonates with you, then that makes two of us and perhaps this writing is for you too. 

It will be good to know there’s somebody out there who walks on a road with you, no judgment, no expectations, just walk with you. Human being feeling another in the highest pure sense.  Regardless of the distance, the gap, the space in between, hearts entwined even for a brief moment. 

So yes my friend, you have the liberty to break out further up the road and follow your own path. No strings need to be attached here.  After all, the road is never a straight line. There are curves, junction, crossings and before we know it, we’ll be bumping into each other again.

As for me, I still need to figure this one out. 

Who do I want to be, and what things do I need to go back doing just because it made me real?  

It’s not for any selfish reasons. I want to help people, touch the hearts of a few if not many. But I think all the cracks and flaws that we have, are the same things that make us human. The more we get real about that the more can people relate to us, and we’ll be more connected to each other on a deeper level.

So this is where I am right now. This is where I stand and I hope I’d be able to navigate this road well. Wish me luck!