I took my car for maintenance today. Due to the pandemic, it has not even reached the required mileage. But It’s been six months since my car’s visit to the shop, so whether we like it or not, here we are again. I wonder how good it will be to allow ourselves to go through some maintenance too, twice or four times a year.
Most of us have built a routine day in and day out.
“Routine” is good. It gives us a sense of permanence, of stability. It’s something we can anchor ourselves to these days when normalcy’s been shaken up a bit. The way we’ve programmed our daily activities eliminated the unnecessary burden of having to make too many decisions. We cannot afford to lose our energy over things that can go automatic. We wake up the same time every day, have the same meal, take the same route, work on the same tasks, wind up the day the same way as we did last. Over time things get comfortable. We finally settled in. We’ve cemented what we would regard as, normal.
Personally, normalcy unsettles me.
I’ve always been a misfit my entire life. It took years for me to accept that being eccentric is my default. I’ve wrestled and won over it on many occasions. I wanted to belong, to be like everybody else. It sure paid some rewards, but none of it lasted. I guess in our deep desire to be seen, to be known, and to be loved, oftentimes, we look for these things in the wrong places. Eventually, we realize that the divine fulfillment of these desires can only come from God. The earthly satisfaction on other hand should start from within. Now, I have zeroed in on that. From here going forward, I’m embracing my kind of normal.
Sometimes you need to step back and take a second look at things.
When we run around all day, we will get many things done. We feel accomplished. We feel proud. We satisfy people, but do we “really” satisfy “us”? Fortunate are those who have found their purpose but for those of us who have not, at least not yet, we keep looking.
What is it that we deeply ache for?
What is that thing we want to do if money wasn’t an issue?
If love, attention, or acceptance isn’t any more a void that needs to be filled?
Will a disruption help bring this thing to the surface?
Maybe, or perhaps, intentionally breaking the monotony of every day will help connect us to our very core.
To awaken the giant within.
To finally show the rarity of our self to the world.
To let our true light shine.
To embrace our “own hue”.
The journey to discovery doesn’t end.
Now I can allow curiosity to fuel my energy. I might be stepping into unfamiliar territories. I might feel scared again, feel uncomfortable, feel alone. But looking at similar seasons in my past, those experiences allowed me to discover and uncover both my strengths and my flaws. As they are laid out in the open, I get to recognize the beauty that I was made of, and the grace that I needed. I desire to come to a point where I begin to fully embrace what I see. To not be afraid of who I am nor be afraid to explore who I can become. The possibilities are endless. But not until I am willing to see where I am will I ever begin to entertain the idea of what else could be out there for me.
It’s not for everyone.
If you have found peace where you are, remain there if you must.
However, if you share the same sentiments I have, by all means, explore and do it happily.
I shall see you on the other side.
sundaewrites 